#my very last minute contribution but time isn't real anyways

[dueliz]

Several Sentence Sunday

Tagged by @if-not-now-tell-me-when! Thank you! <3

It's been a while since I've last shared any of my writing online and I feel rather nervous about it so I'm hoping this helps me get over that anxiety.

A snippet from one of my many, many WIPs. Let's gooooo!!!

Rory swallowed. “I’m sorry,” he said finally- though his words were spoken so softly, Bunny would’ve missed them entirely if she weren’t standing so close to him. “I was just so excited by the prospect of seeing the engines at their full power that I wasn’t really-” He gestured vaguely with his hands, a defeated look clouding his eyes. “... I guess to say I wasn’t thinking would be a lie. What I really mean to say is-” He hesitated, still desperately gesturing with his hands. Bunny knew he was having trouble forming the right words in his mind- Or, at the very least, the right type of words he assumed would magically right his wrongs. Sympathy finally broke through Bunny’s frustrations and she realized she felt just as desperate as Rory appeared for the conversation to finally shift.  “... You neglected to consider the possibility of being caught sneaking about where you shouldn't be?” Bunny offered, delicately folding her hands at her front.  Rory considered her words for a moment, nodding slightly. “Is that selfish?”  Bunny, despite herself, laughed at his response. “Oh, absolutely!” She watched Rory smile slightly before the corners of his mouth once again slumped downwards. She searched desperately for her own magic words. “Listen, what you said earlier,” it was her turn to hesitate. “About how I only care about my appearance? While I do greatly care about that, it’s obviously not the only reason I was so angry.”  “Yes, I know it’s because you also greatly care about me.” “Right,” She offered him a small smile.

Tagging @chill-byers @thesheamythos @iamaweretoad and whoever else just wants to do this.

[norikuna]

r/AsksReddit | Help! I think I accidentally summoned the King of Curses ! ⌦ part one of ?

💬 hi reddit, i know this sounds fake but i swear on my life it's true. i was just messing around with this prank book my friends got me last christmas and it had some 'ancient' summoning spells in it. i didn't even think it would work but there's a 7ft demon looking guy sitting on my couch and i don't know how to get rid of him.

Sorry, this post has been removed by moderators of r/AsksReddit. MOD: Please ask real and serious questions, thank you.

💬 update! the mods removed my post but i'm genuinely telling the truth here. anyway, it turns out that by summoning him, i think i bound us together for eternity. sukuna (that's his name) isn't that bad and he's kinda like a big, lazy cat.

u/9to5exorcist : Ryomen Sukuna? Are you quite sure? u/tenshadowsanimalcrossing : You're joking, no way u summoned sukuna lmfao. u/you : not joking! i took him grocery shopping today! u/SixEyesSensei : dm me asap!!!! please!!!!!!!!!!!!!

inspired by @kasukuna and the most amazing dumbass boyfriend!sukuna fics 🤎

absolutely refuses to use your furniture properly. sukuna insults your apartment for at least 2 whole days and calls it a sad, little domain. he has no idea what paying rent is like in this economy. lounges across the couch with all four arms spread, sits on the kitchen counters, and insists on rearranging your entire living room spread so he can move around it easier.

now you're constantly sleep deprived by having this deadbeat, massive behemoth of an awful flatmate. sukuna keeps telling you that he's a medieval sorcerer, someone who flattened entire clans and mountains but it's hard to take him seriously when he keeps hitting his head on your low ceilings. he's always so loud around the apartment, complaining about how boring it is for him to be stuck and bound to you forever. if you're a university student or just someone who's employed, he thinks he's being helpful by offering to curse your professors/employees.

you have to beg him to get some real clothes. you're slowly getting used to the anatomically strange sight of a 7ft man with four arms, but you know that others are going to call the police. he's usually wondering around your apartment and loitering in his loose, wide pants. nothing else, not even a shirt. occasionally sukuna will drape a cloak around his torso but you have to basically wrestle a baggy shirt over his head. and he bites you, at least thrice.

refuses to help clean, and claims he's very much above menial labour. one day, you threaten to leave sukuna hungry if he doesn't contribute for at least five minutes. he begrudgingly starts picking up after himself, but not before bestowing you with the ugliest death threats of all time.

sukuna is the very definition of a lazy freeloader. well, you told him to be useful and get a job, but then the idea of him causing more problems and insurance paperwork later made you break out in a cold sweat. so he usually spends his hours just loitering around your apartment, and draining your resources. never puts dishes in the sink and still doesn't grasp the concept of a fridge so he's always leaving the door open.

but he is very curious about modern day life. seems like the world has really moved ahead in the one thousand years that sukuna hasn't walked the earth. asks a million questions about wifi, the internet, a phone, streaming services and so on. he will be the last to admit it but he loves trashy reality television, and he enjoys watching 'pathetic humans squabbling over pathetic things'. has an ugly, evil-ass laugh that wakes up your neighbours at 3am.

after weeks of being cooped up in your apartment, he starts complaining. loudly. stomping around and getting even nastier, to the point where you have to give in. he tells you that he is no house pet, and if you don't let him outside, he will go anyway and have his own fun. god help you, sukuna's idea of fun in the big city will involve blood and destruction so you relent and prep him with a million rules that he ignores.

has a beef with a bunch of birds that sit outside your apartment every morning. definitely the type of weirdo that glares back at birds and throws rocks at them. backfired, because the entire swarm started flocking around him. but you did promise him that you'd let him go outside, so you decide to start with somewhere easy. grocery shopping.

already impressed with the idea of grocery shopping and parking lots. has no clue why humans would cram their 'carriages' in one place, and has no concept of traffic laws. you try patiently explaining that these cars weigh tonnes of metal and they can really injure a person. sukuna's pretty confident that no car could ever even scratch him. cue the big delivery truck that almost runs him down.

completely fascinated by sliding doors. it's already embarrassing enough being outside with a loud, rude tank with pink hair and tattoos. but now he's holding up gruntled customers trying to figure out what enchantment allows glass to move so smoothly on its own. keeps stepping back and forth in front of them to watch them open and close. almost breaks them with the strength of just one cracked fingers before you plead with him to keep moving.

sukuna encounters an escalator for the first time and refuses to step on it, and vows to bash in the head of the little kid who gave him a big side eye. after five minutes of arguing, he finally steps onto the moving belt and almost tilts off-balance, but he's got a tattooed hand practically gripping the side for dear life.

literally the biggest hater when he's inside properly. makes snarky remarks about how this flashy bazaar can't possibly be for real merchants who respect the trade. you try to show him the different types of stores, but he's more interested in people watching. loud people-watching. you almost go home when sukuna asks another man why he's swallowing wet balls. hint: it was an innocent guy having bubble tea.

entirely interested in new fruits and vegetables that he's never seen before. but he'll pretend he doesn't give a flying fuck. has taken a deep liking to tomatoes, and comments that these delicious, tasty red globes were not around during his era. sukuna thinks colourful cereal boxes are the worst things to ever happen to mankind, and you fear that you gave him too much internet access when he sneers at you for picking up a box of froot loops - suddenly muttering things about artificial and fake foods with fake flavours.

baffled by the concept of frozen food, and wonders what sort of jujutsu keeps the meat cold and fresh? practically wide-eyed when he reaches the butcher's stand until you tell him that 'no, sukuna. you can't buy steak and eat it raw here. we have to get home and cook it.' he's just happy to see the deli. he opens the freezer and fridge doors for too long and lets all the cold out.

he has no concept of modern money or a credit card. insists that there is no need to trade for these goods, and he can just take what he wants. you believe him but you're trying to avoid the mall police, but he just stands behind with his arms crossed, while you sigh and take out your credit card to pay at the self checkout.

sukuna refuses to sit still at the food court, and towers over the poor workers. demands to know how the food is made, "is it poisoned? who are your chefs?" the poor teenager working the kebab store has to call the manager to get this fiend of a man to back off. he's able to polish off a doner kebab in two, nasty bites. refuses to carry any of your shopping bags and claims that he's not a mule. you remind him that he put in five tubs of ice creams and two watermelons, and he begrudgingly slings the lightest bag over his shoulder and leaves you to haul the rest up.

but who knew the key to keeping your local king of curses happy was to just simply take him out for a walk? sukuna seems more energised (while you feel like death warmed over) and he's already tearing open a bag of your favourite crisps, insisting that next time he will be able to conquer this 'shopping centre' properly and rule it with ease.

[sparkles-rule-4eva]

I was just rewatching parts of the four-parter of Sonic Boom, "Robots From the Sky," originally for the Sonamy content 😂 (since that has some of the biggest evidences for them secretly dating in that show, but that's for another post)

But then I noticed something a little odd.

In the fourth part, Sonic is weirdly...quiet.

I'll just say real quick I'm a big fan of the headcanon that Sonic used to be mute, and is still selectively mute, all depending on the day and the situation and whatnot. I think it adds depth to his character and another side that'd be fascinating to see in canon (and I always latch onto fanworks that portray such). But besides there being the obvious thing about Classic Sonic being completely mute, and Sonic X Sonic being quiet most of the time, and stuff like that, I didn't expect to find anything for it in Boom, of all things.

(to be clear, that wasn't an insulting comment. I adore Boom. It's sorta my comfort show. XD)

ANYWAY, the point of this post! In the fourth and final episode of the miniseries, even though he started out the episode talking as usual, Sonic went weirdly silent starting shortly after the rest of his friends arrived. There was the silly, rather flirtatious scene he had with Amy, they all tried (and failed) to fight, Sonic instructed Tails to take the others and fall back while he went and got the robot guy (I forgot his name). That command he gave Tails was the last real thing he actually said for the next five minutes of the episode (these are ten minute eps remember, so that's more than it sounds, and definitely way more than five minutes happened in the real timespan of the episode). He said a couple things at the very end, but spoke no real words in the conversations and battles (other than yelling "ow" that one time 😂).

Like?? Boom!Sonic isn't necessarily as talkative as Movie!Sonic or Prime!Sonic, but he doesn't often come across as "quiet," either. But...???

Like, several times in that period (which must've been hours, since the robot guy built a bunch of robot duplicates of them during that time) he was the only character who stayed quiet the whole time. He was paying attention to what was happening, but I kept expecting him to contribute or just say SOMETHING, and he just wouldn't. Not even when Tails said something to him. Several times someone gave him some type of instruction and he just nodded, without so much as a hum. He just stood there. His robot duplicate said something a couple times (or maybe just once, idk, but still).

I might be reading too much into it, but the thought was just interesting to me. I was trying to think of why he might've gone silent for that time, in context of the situation, and thought either maybe it was because it was a truly more serious situation, or maybe because he was actually hurt? And his being silent was the only tell that something was off? IDK!! Selective mutism, especially with Sonic, is very interesting to me. 😅

[rabbitechoes]

i'm realizing that my analysis for these posts in my month in review series are a lot less in-depth than the albums one, but i'm ok with that. it still motivates me to keep up with new singles even if my writing isn't as strong. anyways, there were some really cool songs this month especially towards the end!! to check out my thoughts on some of the albums, EPs, and mixtapes that came out this month click here!!! also feel free to follow me on rate your music and twitter <3

"Club classics" | "B2b" - Charli XCX

◇ featured on brat - Charli XCX (not yet released) ◇ genres: futurepop, bubblegum bass

Charli XCX kicked off the month by releasing two singles from her upcoming album brat. I wasn't super impressed with "Von dutch," but I'm loving these tracks a lot more. I just think the ideas presented on these two songs are much more interesting. "Club classics" pays tribute to frequent collaborators A.G. Cook (one of the song's producers) and SOPHIE both lyrically and musically. "B2b" is a lot more rhythmic, but those thumping synth lines keep it within the theme. These tracks have me a bit more excited for the album!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"86Sentra" - NxWorries

◇ featured on Why Lawd? - NxWorries (not yet released) ◇ genre: west coast hip hop

Knxwledge and Anderson .Paak's project NxWorries is coming back with a new album soon and while I'm not super familiar with the group's work, this is a pretty decent, quick single. It's very lowkey, almost too lowkey, but it's hard to expect a lot from a track that's under two minutes. Hopefully the full record has more fleshed out cuts than this!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Eyes Closed" - Imagine Dragons

◇ genres: pop rock, electropop

What do you expect? Did Imagine Dragons get in gear and drop something cool and different? No, of course they didn't. It's the same flavor of bombastic electronic infused, vaguely rock cuts with big arena-ready choruses that feel incredibly empty. Music made for WWE promo videos. To their credit, they are one of the most consistent bands of the modern era ... consistently terrible that is!!! *cue laughter, applause, and fireworks*

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Dream State" - Kamasi Washington

◇ featured on Fearless Movement - Kamasi Washington (not yet released) ◇ genres: jazz fusion, spiritual jazz

The latest single from Kamasi Washington's upcoming album features flute contributions from André 3000. This might be my favorite single so far. André's flute pairs very well with Washington's saxophone throughout. The song starts slow, as the instruments mingle with one another. Like a feeling out stage, until the drums and bass kick in towards the middle and everything just slides into place perfectly. So excited to hear this full album.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Karma" - JoJo Siwa

◇ genres: electropop, dance-pop, gay-pop

I almost feel bad tearing into this new JoJo Siwa single. We all know it's bad. Her silly KISS-adjacent makeup, the interview where she says she wants to make a new thing called "gay-pop" (pop music, definitely not a genre that is rich with queerness already), the "DREAM GUEST ON MY PODCAST" thing, it's been a busy month for her. This single sucks though. Corny and embarrassing. No one is buying this "mean girl" act unless they're like a pre-teen or something. Grow up, JoJo. For real this time.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other" - Orville Peck & Willie Nelson

◇ featured on Stampede - Orville Peck (not yet released) ◇ genres: contemporary country, singer-songwriter

Orville Peck and Willie Nelson have teamed up for a new version of Ned Sublette's iconic satire on cowboy stereotypes. Despite the song's suggestion that every gay man is inherently effeminate, I've always gotten a kick out of it. This new version is no different. Peck has been one of the shining stars in country music over the last few years and Willie Nelson is Willie Fucking Nelson. I think I prefer Nelson's solo version from 2006, but again, this is a lot of fun. Looking forward to Peck's new album!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Good Luck, Babe!" - Chappell Roan

◇ genres: synthpop, pop rock

I had no idea who Chappell Roan was before this month. She was all over my Twitter feed in the days leading up to and following this new single "Good Luck, Babe!" I definitely see what the hype is about. This is one of the most solid synthpop tracks I've heard in a while. Roan's energy is electric too. I feel like she's going to be an even bigger name within the next few years. Definitely need to go back and listen to her last album.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Reaching Out" - Beth Gibbons

◇ featured on Lives Outgrown - Beth Gibbons (not yet released) ◇ genres: krautrock, art pop

Another absolutely incredible single from Beth Gibbons before her new record drops next month. This one is a lot more avant-garde than the previous, but it rules so hard. The minimal instrumentation puts the focus on the multi-layered vocals and it's so cool. When the instrumentation ramps up it feels even more earned. Lives Outgrown is still one of my most anticipated albums of the year, even more so after this track.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Wanna Be" - GloRilla & Megan Thee Stallion*

◇ featured on Ehhthang Ehhthang - GloRilla ◇ genres: crunk, southern hip hop, trap

I've been aware of GloRilla for a bit now, but I never actually heard one of her songs until now. This rules. "Wanna Be" is a sharp southern hip hop cut from two of the most charismatic artists in that field. Megan definitely has more starpower, at least right now, but they're on an equal playing field here. Both of them just sound ferocious. The beat is a little generic, but the performances carry the song to greatness. I definitely need to give this full album a listen sometime.

*this was written before the lawsuit filed against Megan Thee Stallion.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"b i g f e e l i n g s" - WILLOW

◇ featured on Empathogen - WILLOW (not yet released) ◇ genres: jazz-rock, jazz pop

Another great new cut from WILLOW that shows her going into a more jazz pop direction!! I know I said last month when writing about "symptom of life" that I was being cautiously optimistic about what she doest next, but hearing this puts me at ease just a bit. Not completely, there will probably be some horrible collab with someone in the near future, but I'm at least extremely looking forward to Empathogen. I loved a lot of her rockier tracks over the last few years, but the singles leading up to this album show an artist at the top of their game thus far.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Illusion" - Dua Lipa

◇ featured on Radical Optimism - Dua Lipa (not yet released) ◇ genres: dance-pop, diva house

A lot of my criticisms of the recent Dua Lipa singles unfortunately apply to "Illusion" as well. These are competently crafted pop tracks, but they leave me feeling so hollow. I don't wanna dance, sing along, I'm just so uninvested. She just has barely any presence on these tracks. Radical Optimism is just around the corner and I'm worried that I'm gonna be severely disappointed by it.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"overseas" - Ken Carson

◇ genres: rage, southern hip hop

I haven't been the biggest Ken Carson fan in recent years, but I heard this new single getting some buzz so I decided to give it a shot. I definitely didn't hate it, but I'm not in love with it either. The beat here is really cool, but Carson just doesn't bring the heat. It's like trying to fit a round peg in a square hole.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Espresso" - Sabrina Carpenter

◇ genres: dance-pop, nu-disco

I wish I could say I'm on the Sabrina Carpenter train, but I'm just very underwhelmed by everything I've heard. This is a sleek pop cut with disco leanings, but it's almost like too sleek. Everything down to Carpenter's vocals is just so pristine. I do like the hook though, it's pretty catchy. I just wish there was a bit more punch to it, could've been so much better!!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"DBZ" - Your Old Droog, Method Man & Denzel Curry

◇ genres: chipmunk soul, drumless, jazz rap, east coast hip hop

We got an all-star cut from Your Old Droog, Method Man, and Denzel Curry with a beat by Madlib. Yeah, this is pretty good. It feels like a cheat code, like yeah of course this rocks. Droog's verse is pretty strong, but out of everyone here I'm the least familiar with his catalogue. Method Man's verse rules, he brings that classic flavor to the track that Lib's beat calls for. Curry rocks this too. Not a gamechanger track or anything, but this is definitely a worthwhile track.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"David Byrne Does Hard Times" - Paramore & David Byrne

◇ genres: new wave, funk

David Byrne returns the favor to Paramore for their cover of "Burning Down the House" with his own version of the band's smash hit "Hard Times." He strips back the instrumentation just a bit, really the energy on the whole, but it works decently well. The bridge towards the end here is where this song really hits. Also that saxophone throughout is such a nice touch. It's just a fun little cover, doesn't outdo the original, but it's nice to see a legend like Byrne tipping his cap to them.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Push Ups" - Drake

◇ genres: hardcore hip hop, trap

Oh lord, the great rap beef of April 2024. I touched on it briefly when I talked about Kendrick Lamar's verse on "Like That" from the Future & Metro Boomin album from last month, but it really ramped up this month. J. Cole had a sheepish, pathetic diss towards Kendrick meanwhile Drake somehow brought way more fire. It's still just funny to see Drake throw stones at anyone considering he has one of the biggest glass houses of all time. He's taking a break from gambling streams to make diss tracks, he's just such a funny character.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"What Happened to You, Son?" - Belle and Sebastian

◇ genres: jangle pop, twee pop

I was really underwhelmed by Belle and Sebastian's previous album, but I enjoy this single more than anything on that record for sure. It's still got some unremarkable instrumentation and some clunky verses, but it's a fun listen. There's some witty lyrics here and I guess it's nice to hear them still rolling along, but I'll probably just stick with If You're Feeling Sinister.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Only One" - Cassandra Jenkins

◇ featured on My Light, My Destroyer - Cassandra Jenkins (not yet released) ◇ genre: sophisti-pop

A few years ago I remember listening to Cassandra Jenkins' last album An Overview on Phenomenal Nature on a whim, I thought it was ok! It hasn't been in my regular rotation, but I was reminded of Jenkins because of this new single and the announcement of her next album. This is a really tasteful track with gorgeous melodies and a vocal performance that sounds heavenly. This new album is certainly on my radar now and I'm definitely gonna go back and listen to her last album again.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Starburster" - Fontaines D.C.

◇ featured on Romance - Fontaines D.C. (not yet released) ◇ genre: post-punk

Oh this track fucking rules. Fontaines D.C. have been on my radar for a bit, but I never gave them a listen until now. I definitely need to familiarize myself with their stuff because "Starburster" is amazing. A great mixture of post-punk, rap rock, and dance music. A lot of those sounds feel opposed, but they come together so nicely here. This rules, I'm definitely gonna keep my eye on them leading up to this new album coming up.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Wake Up" - Backxwash

◇ genres: hardcore hip hop, industrial hip hop

Backxwash has been making some of the most interesting industrial hip hop and horrorcore of the last few years. This new single "Wake Up" is a great example of that. The production is so atmospheric, making way for her strained, exasperated delivery. It gives the track such a distinct energy. The midway point of the track gives all focus to the fuzzy beat before leading into an insane beat switch. I've never heard her on a beat like this before, but she absolutely kills it. Great track!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Right, Wrong or Ready" - Kara Jackson

🥇 BEST SONG OF THE MONTH

◇ genres: singer-songwriter, chamber folk

Kara Jackson dropped a cover of Karen Dalton's "Right, Wrong or Ready" this month and it's absolutely gorgeous. I wasn't aware of the original before this, but I think I prefer this cover to the original. Gorgeous chamber folk instrumentation and Jackson's vocals are, as to be expected, sublime. One of those songs that makes you appreciate just how beautiful music can be. I loved Jackson's last record and I'm hoping we get more new music from her soon, but I'll be bumping this one for a while.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Rewilding" - Thurston Moore

◇ genres: slacker rock, noise rock

While I'm a little disappointed this new Thurston Moore single released for Earth Day isn't a detour into experimental hip hop like Kim Gordon's recent music, "Rewilding" is a pretty decent slacker rock cut with some noisier moments. The instrumentation on here leans pretty tame, but it's still a cool listen. I'm not super familiar with Moore's solo work and I'm not sure when or if I'll get around to it. Unfortunately, this single isn't really pushing me to familiarize myself with it.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Like I Say (I runaway) - Nilüfer Yanya

◇ genres: indie rock, noise pop

Nilüfer Yanya's 2022 album PAINLESS really took me by surprise. It's been a while since I revisited it, but it was in my rotation a pretty decent amount that year. This return single is really strong. I love the production here, it sounds washed out in the coolest way possible. The melodies are also really strong. I'm hoping we get an album announcement in the coming months, I'll certainly be listening!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"euphoria" - Kendrick Lamar

◇ genres: trap, hardcore hip hop

Not long after I initially published this post, Kendrick Lamar fired back at Drake's diss in a 6 minute track that has a killer beat switch and Lamar fully embracing being a hater. I have no dog in this fight, but for what it's worth, Kendrick easily looks the best coming out of this. His pen game is on another level, especially when compared to Drake (and Cole too, although his response was so uninteresting he's basically a non-factor at this point). Sometimes his delivery here gets a little too lyrical spiritual miracle, but it's still a fun track.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ thanks for reading :3

[the-moon-and-sea]

Trying something new bc im bored. Please imagine all the parenthesis are footnotes.

I have decided I'm going to watch the new Ghibli movie when it comes out. I saw ads for it in Japan (just posters on the movie theater wall at the mall, they intentionally didn't advertise the movie At All before releasing it there) and it was more intriguing than some of the other movies coming out (looking at you, ghibli look-alike about a chair??? who okayed that premise) but the timing wasn't right, plus I'd have to watch it all in actual Japanese and while I could do that for something simple like Way of the Househusband (great movie btw but I didn't know enough lore apparently) I figured I'd want to follow this one a bit better. Plus, my boy Yonezu Kenshi contributed to the soundtrack, so I have to watch it to support.

This movie is the first in a while (I'm not googling to see if this is correct) with the old duo of Hayao Miyazaki and Joe Hisaishi, and while there have been....other movies in the last 10 or so years....miss little witch etc was never very compelling for me. But based on the barely-over-a-minute trailer...I'm ready. We've got the creepy soundtrack, the same solid style, but somehow a level up in the animation?! some random old ladies, cute spirits, it's got it all. What it also has, very importantly, is a war reference. We all know Miyazaki remains heavily influenced by his nostalgia of wartime Japan (and aren't all of us (Please Read/Watch In This Corner Of The World)) so it's not surprising to see some bombings here. Some fire there. I'll bet you $5 there will be a plane in there somewhere. Mans loves his planes.

Anyway add onto that the ~mystical elements~ weebs like to love about Japan (please read Orientalism by Edward Said also) and I'm sure this will sell well. And I'm also sure, I'm probably gonna love it lmao

I was reading the official description on GKids which I guess is the site of the producer and distributer in America, and they mention Yonezu, my boy, right under Miyazaki. Joe isn't there. Poor guy. Anyway they say about Yonezu: "After posting a series of Vocaloid tracks under the moniker Hachi, Kenshi Yonezu distinguished himself from the crowd with remarkable results." This is. a severe understatement. I think I might end up writing my thesis on Vocaloid and the impact it STILL has on children today in America and Japan (my kids always played popular songs during lunch/cleaning and during sports, basically anytime the broadcast club had control; some of the kids in the art club literally only drew Ms Miku fanart) and amongst that Huge Library of Music (I won't call it a genre bc thats not what it is), Hachi was like. Top 10 if not Top 5 if not Top 3 most popular. If you listened to vocaloid at all before 2016 you know Matryoshka. That's Hachi. He was a wonder to all of us middle schoolers. More recently, he came out with Sand Planet, about the way time has changed Vocaloid and the people who enjoy and produce it. It was also really cool.

I learned about his Real Name career a bit after it had happened. I stumbled on Mad Head Love one day on my youtube rabbit holes, and it slapped, and I was like oh it's that guy. But then I lost track, forgot his name, and generally wished him well from afar. And then ! I refound him! And have loved him ever since (not really some of his recent stuff is weird but - actually hang on lemme actually write this)

Recently, and I mean in the last oh 3 or so years, he's done what a lot of popular Japanese artists do - make anime music. Some of it's okay, some of it is Absolutely His Thing, and some of it is like every other anime op ever and not very impressive. Spinning Globe (the song in this movie) is Pretty Good I think. I listened to it while crying on the plane on the way back to America. The lyrics are simple and easy to understand, it's got his plodding beat and an easy background. I could probably transcribe the piano part in 15 minutes. "The day I heard a voice patting me on the back, telling me to go ahead" is like. well it was really relevant to my personal time in Japan and a lot of the issues I've been facing so maybe I'm biased!

Yonezu is so popular that he literally wrote a song for the Tokyo Olympics. He represents Japan. He has been a top singer in Japan for 10 years. This started with his landslide take over of Vocaloid music. Even my students who didn't know literally any celebrity knew him. And I know this is the English website so they probably don't expect anyone to know who he is, and don't care about the understatement, but listen. Yonezu if you're out there and you want anyone to write you PR in English. I've got u.

The Japanese title is 君たちはどう生きるか. It's based on a book of the same name from 2016. I'd literally translate that title as "How do you live" with the 'you' being plural, like 'you all'. I don't know anything about it. It's apparently semi-autobiographical. But they've chosen to translate the title as "The Boy and the Heron," the choice of which could be a thesis in itself. But I wish it had come out just a little sooner, because one of my favorite games to play with my kids was getting them to guess titles to ghibli movies in English and they would've lost their minds over this one.

[aot-snk-4238]

SNK Meta Part 2: Ymir

In my previous post, I talked about my feelings regarding Historia's character this final arc. Now I'm going to talk about Ymir, her relationship with Historia, and my feelings about her send-off.

Was Ymir a good character?

In my eyes, yes. When she was first introduced, it was clear that she had feelings for Historia, making her one of the only canon queer characters in the series (assuming Historia reciprocated those feelings, which I'm pretty sure she did). She also appeared very snarky and cynical, but us readers came to learn later on that there was a much softer, sensitive side to her deep down that Historia would be the first to witness. These revelations, including her backstory, helped flesh out her character in a way that made her very interesting and mysterious for me. I especially loved how sharp and intuitive she was. I'm going to quote the wiki on this part, because I think it does a great job explaining her impressive observant abilities. "Ymir was extremely perceptive and could discern the nature of the people around her with alarming accuracy, such as Historia's martyrdom mentality, Reiner's split personality disorder, and Sasha Blouse's desire to look good in front of her peers by hiding her native accent and developing an extremely formal way of speaking. Due to her experiences and belief in self-pride, she tended to rudely criticize people for being untrue to themselves. Furthermore, Ymir was very reasonable, as she knew what to do during her kidnapping situation and reconsidered her options to accomplish her goals." I also enjoyed her interactions with other characters besides Historia. Take Connie, for example. When he lamented over the possibility of his mother being stuck as a mindless titan, Ymir tried to distract him, albeit not in the most appropriate way (ch. 38).

Connie complained about this behavior later on, but Historia defended her, explaining that she was only trying to stray his thoughts from that traumatic discovery. There were a few more moments between these two that were fun to see as well.

😂😂😂. Ymir's looking at him like, "You ruined it, Connie..."

I love the way she pats him on the head. Knowing how much taller Connie's gotten I don't think she'd be able to do that anymore.

This becomes one of the many times that Connie calls her "ugly" when she's in her titan form. Too bad she couldn't talk very well as a titan or else she probably would have had a smartass remark to throw back at him. It's looking back on scenes like this where I wish we could have gotten more out of these two. You can tell she cared for Connie and I know he also cared in his own way.

We only saw her together with Eren once when Reiner and Bertholdt captured them, but it was very interesting to see their perceptions of each other.

Eren found Ymir to be mysterious and wasn't sure if he could trust her, which isn't surprising considering this was the only time they ever spoke to each other. One detail that he couldn't miss, however, was Ymir's undying determination to protect Historia, a goal they would both come to share later on. Meanwhile, Ymir couldn't trust Eren because she found him to be too reckless and hot-headed.

These were my favorite qualities from Ymir, although to this day I still question the rationality of leaving Historia behind considering the situation she's currently in. Historia herself called her an idiot after reading her goodbye letter. Now that I've covered my reasons for liking Ymir as a character, let's move on to her relationship with Historia.

Ymir and Historia

I've loved these two together since the beginning for their complex and amusing dynamic. On the surface, you had the selfish, confrontational tomboy and the girly, kind and beautiful goddess. But underneath were two young women who were dealt a dirty hand early in their life and lead empty lives as a result until they found each other. Their story arcs throughout the Clash of the Titans arc were beautiful and complimentary, and it's part of the reason why it's actually my favorite story arc in the series. Everything from Ymir seeing through Historia's charade and urging her to live her life with pride to Historia telling Ymir her real name and the two of them fighting side by side in chapter 49 was some of the most empowering moments for me and I will forever cherish those parts of the story.

Ymir's departure

And now the part I've been most excited to talk about! Ymir's glorious, memorable and emotional departure.

Her ending...was not what I expected it to be. She left Historia at the very last second and gave herself away to the enemy because she felt guilty for something that was not her fault. Now as we know, Ymir is selfless at heart and she felt indebted to Reiner and Bertholdt for inadvertently helping her return to her human form after 60 years of wandering the earth as a mindless titan. She also decided that Historia might be safe after all after learning that Eren possessed the coordinate. I understand all of that, but what I don't understand is...well...everything else.

This was Ymir's last real appearance. We see that Ymir has willingly chosen to accompany Reiner and Bertholdt back to Marley to give up her titan powers at the cost of her life. Many people weren't so sure if that was truly the last of her though, because her death was not explicitly confirmed for a long time. We spend the next 33 chapters hoping to get something more, and then this happens...

A glimmer of hope. Finally there's a real chance we'll hear from her again, and it's got a lot of people buzzing with excitement. Sure enough, we finally get to see what's in that letter a few chapters later and are given Ymir's backstory. Here's where the disappointing part comes, though. Ymir makes it clear at the beginning of her letter that she will be dead by the time Historia receives it, meaning that this is the only goodbye they're gonna get. The last time they saw each other, Ymir wasn't even in human form. Instead of a proper goodbye, all we get is a short letter. The anime even tried to fix this by giving us Ymir's backstory earlier, but by doing that, her letter was cut short by a lot. All that was really left was, "Hi babe, sorry I left you like that. Oh well, I'm about to die anyway. Sorry we couldn't get married." And then this happened:

Historia touches Ymir's letter and is suddenly bombarded with visions of Ymir's past, including her chained up and about to be eaten. That is definitely not what happened in the manga and its honestly very confusing to me. How was she able to see all of that just by touching the letter? I get that she has royal blood and was able to access memories when she touched Eren, but Eren is a human who just so happens to possess the founding titan. The letter is just a piece of paper. Also, I'm guessing the last thing Historia saw was Ymir chained up so that there will be no need to bring her up again like Reiner and Porco did in chapter 93. I don't blame the anime team for making that change because I'll be honest, when we saw that one panel of her in her death chamber it felt very out of nowhere and I had a hard time concentrating on the rest of the chapter after that. So here are my main problems with her death:

1. It was off-screen

If I recall correctly, Ymir is the only major character in the series whose death was off-screen. All we got were her final moments, and there wasn't even any dialogue. That part especially bothered me because you can see that Ymir and Porco are looking at each other and Ymir's mouth is slightly open, implying that she's speaking. But what was she saying? You seriously don't mean to tell me that they both just sat there and stared at each other the whole time. She must have had some last words, but for some reason we never got to know what they were. At one point I even thought that Historia and Porco might cross paths at some point and he would be able to give her closure that way but no. No closure, just a last minute goodbye letter and a glimpse of her final moments that I now consider completely useless and unnecessary because we never got more out of it. I mean really, we even got closure and an on-screen death for Marco for crying out loud. Why give him that kind of attention and not Ymir? Not to mention one of the more recent guidebooks. Her character has the diceased sticker and it talks about how she went back to Marley with Reiner and Bert, but that's it. Not even the guidebook makes it clear what happened next. Yeah she died, but did anything else happen before then? That's what I wish we could have gotten more details on like, I don't know....her final words???

2. It was anticlimactic

We didn't get enough focus on Ymir's point of view after leaving Paradis in order for her death to have any kind of lasting emotional impact. As I mentioned above, it just felt out of place and messy. There was nothing memorable about her death either. It was quite simple and boring.

3. It contributed to an ongoing literary issue that has anti-LGBTQ roots

Yep. I'm talking about the infamous Bury Your Gays trope. Now before I go any further, I am not accusing Isayama of being anti-LGBTQ, I'm just shedding some light on something that's been continuously repeated in countless forms of media, not just anime and manga. Truthfully, I hadn't heard about this trope before reading Attack on Titan, but when I did hear about it, it only made Ymir's death even worse for me. I'm not surprised that it exists and I realize that this is a manga where death is inevitable, but keeping both women alive in the end would have certainly been very refreshing. At this point, all I could ask for is that Ymir and Historia get to see each other one last time. Obviously since Ymir is dead it will have to be through other means and I don't care how it's done. It can be in a dream, a vision or through Paths (which I think would work best). Seriously, there's nothing I've been more curious about than how Ymir would react to Hisu's current predicament and what she would say to her. It would just be great for them to have one last conversation face to face because for me, the letter just wasn't enough. Of course I'm hoping for too much, though. We've only got 1-2% of the story remaining, leaving no room for further closure. It's disappointing and frustrating, but no story is perfect. I'm grateful for the content that we did get, but I hope one day I can find a story like this one where the queer characters get to live for once. I'm aware of other shows like Steven Universe, Adventure Time and Yuri on Ice that give them good endings, but those shows are much friendlier towards younger audiences and aren't nearly as dark and grim.

Conclusion

Ymir was a very intriguing character while we had her, but her death was unsatisfactory and only left us with more questions. I am not going to trash Isayama for it, but I will leave this critique here so I can unload all my thoughts for others to read if they wish, or possibly share their own thoughts. We are coming close to the end of the manga, so now would be a great time to reflect on what we read and enjoy what's left of it.

[itsthehcgforme]

Not much to contribute today, just a free format rant. but I’ve been ruminating on the idea of settling. It’s taken me a really long time to break out of the ‘you get what you get, and you don’t get upset’ mindset. There’s always been some sort of compromise that I’ve had to give in order to make it work. For the most part, I’ve always been happy to do it. But is that okay? How much is too much? How much is not enough? Who really has the right to answer this for me?   I’ve been really excited to get back on the journey of cultivating real partnership. I’ve really been intentional with putting myself back out there, establishing my boundaries, being clear on my intentions, while also honouring my wants and needs - and that’s come with some trials, crazy thoughts, major disappointments, self doubt and a bag of other thoughts and conflict.  In putting myself out there, I’ve come across pretty practical options. Good job, good family life, good communication skills. But let there be one red flag and I completely check out. On one hand, I can see how that kind of action could have saved me from some seriously tumultuous experiences. At the same time - how limiting?  Last month, I met somebody that I had a lot in common with. I was really excited about them, hoping to at least cultivate a friendship. The best part was that they lived super close to my new city. They were attractive, decent job, musical, creative, queer and seemed pretty adamant on working toward partnership. Perfect! BUT the moment I saw actions that conflicted with  that I c l o c k e d  t h e  f u c k o u t. LOL. After a few weeks of chatting, I conjured up the courage for my first irl escapade since my break up. They had planned a whole night out, a wine bar, followed by a music sesh. Like, yes, talk to meeee! Of course, when the day came, little to no communication, hours to get a text back to confirm plans, flopping at the very last minute for a reason that could’ve been mentioned much earlier in the day, before I had my makeup done, outfit on. Partnership? IDK, in my opinion, a person who is consciously and actively in search or partnership should have consideration when it comes to engaging with someone they are looking to for potential partnership, no? One thing I don’t play about is my time, and I’ve been cracking down on that over the last couple of years. Of course, I said my piece, and then I peace-d. To which they responded with salt. Fair enough.  It’s always the ‘what if’ train of thought that get me. What if I was a bit more lenient? What if I stuck around to see if this was a one-time deal? What if things would’ve worked out? What if I’m missing out on true love and partnership because of one slip up? Isn't apart of partnership being able to sit in the understanding of ‘I’m dealing with another human; humans are imperfect so I should have grace’ - I’m realizing that the ‘realm of what if’ isn’t a real place. If I only want you in energy of what you could be tomorrow, or what you could do tomorrrow, then the reality is that I don’t like you lol. I think that it needs to be as simple as that. The realm of right now is tangible. The realm of right now exists. It’s happening in real time. It can’t be embellished or romanticized like an idea or a memory. So, with that being said, I guess this is a reminder to me that when I say no to a reality that doesn’t align or reflect the reality that I want, then I say YES and reaffirm the reality that I want. I make space for it, I invite it in. If I say yes to a reality that doesn’t align or reflect the reality I want, I can’t be surprised or sit in victim mode when I keep manifesting and finding myself in situations that aren’t what I truly want. As the young kids say, be fucking for real. The math is pretty simple.  Anyway, here is a cute picture of me. Tataaaaa, xox

[buffster]

Something Blue (BTVS 4.09)

This is part of my ongoing Buffyverse Project, where I write notes/meta for every episode in an attempt to better understand the characters and themes of the shows. You can find the BTVS list here and the ATS list here. Gifs are not mine.

I loved that Something Blue allowed us to sympathize with both sides of the Willow vs. Scoobies conflict. I’m annoyed when Willow snaps at everyone and interrupts Buffy and Riley’s date, which forces me to recognize truth when Willow says no one wants to deal with her heartbreak anymore. The episode was also really funny.

We discover in the first scene that Willow has been going to Oz’s place alone. She’s clinging to the relationship and fully expects him to return. This is also when Riley and Buffy really get going, which has to be a painful reminder for Willow. I had forgotten about Willow and Buffy’s conversation in the graveyard and in hindsight find it pretty sad. Some of Buffy’s issues with Riley were already present but she basically never dealt with them. I don’t believe the implosion of their relationship was all on Riley. I think he sensed some real issues but just handled it all wrong. 

Buffy: Riley seems so solid. Like he's not the type to give a girl grief.

Willow: Get out. Get out while there's still time.

Buffy: I know. I gotta get over the whole bad boy thing. There's no good there. Seeing Angel in L.A. - even for five minutes - hello to the pain.

Willow: The pain is not a friend.

Buffy: But then I can't help thinking, isn't that where the fire comes from? Can a nice, safe relationship be that intense? It's nuts, but part of me believes that real love and passion have to go hand in hand with lots of pain and fighting-

I’ve never gotten the bad boy thing. It’s all cool on television but in real life it’s dealing with a serial cheater at best and visiting a jail at worst. No, thanks. Anyway Buffy definitely has a thing with it which, if I wanted to get analytical, would say goes back to her father and her fear of healthy relationships. Riley could have been forever and committing to that is scary. But when you know Angel or Spike can’t last you don’t really have to commit or face your fears of ending up like your mother. I think Buffy has a lot of issues with Hank (made worse by her first relationship being a nightmare) that go unresolved. I’m not saying Riley and Buffy would have lasted forever, but I don’t think she ever really gave that idea a chance. 

Buffy: That's it. The invalid amnesiac routine is over. Kitchens closed 'til you tell me something useful about the commandos.

Spike: I'm trying to remember. It was very traumatic.

Buffy: How long are you going to pull this crap?

Spike: How long am I gonna live once I tell you?

Many people have wondered why Buffy didn’t stake Spike in season four and consider it a plot hole. I don’t doubt wanting to keep James Marsters around was a contributing factor, but I think we can also find signs Buffy had something for Spike in this episode. I don’t think it was love--just a weird sense of companionship mixed with physical attraction. They’d been rivals for so long they were practically pals (and his affection for Drusilla had always made him seem pathetic and more human to everyone). When they take him prisoner Giles is content to ignore Spike but Buffy sits by the side of the bathtub and teases him. They’re already developing that classic trope of the two people who fight so much you just figure they’ll eventually screw. Giles even notes that if they don’t kill each other soon he might lend a hand. 

Willow’s solution to the Spike problem is a truth spell. In season six her going straight for a magical solution would have raised eyebrows but now everyone thinks it’s brilliant. It was probably frustrating for Willow that her magical help abruptly became an issue. 

Giles: Willow may have had a helpful idea. She seems to be coping better with Oz' departure, don't you think?

Buffy: She's still got a way to go, but yeah -I think she's dealing.

Spike: What are you people, blind? She's hanging on by a thread. Any ninny can see that.

There’s an interesting irony in Spike being so good at reading people he doesn’t care about in the slightest. He’s proven right when Willow returns to Oz’s room and finds his things gone. She’s devastated and returns to moping around until she finally decides to get drunk. Xander and Buffy don’t approve. 

Xander: We’ve all got pain, Will--

Willow: Like what? Poor me, I live in a basement? Oh, yeah-that’s dire!

Buffy: I’m taking you home now.

Willow: I don’t want to--

Buffy: You’ll thank me when you still have a friend in the morning.

That made me so sad, especially given Xander’s usual attempts to cheer his friends up even when he’s feeling bad. It highlights a typical Xander issue--human problems tend to go unnoticed in all the supernatural chaos. Xander isn’t going to have a spell go awry and cause mass chaos when he’s upset so people just leave him to deal. 

Willow: Isn’t there some way I can make it go away? Just ‘cause I say so? Can’t I make it go poof?

This quote points us to a major underlying issue of Willow’s: she doesn’t like to fix things the hard right way. She loves magic because (aside from the power) it allows her to take short cuts. She doesn’t want to take the long, hard, and human path to healing and (later) forgiveness. This episode is one where you can really see Willow slowly going down the rabbit hole with magic and no one realizes what’s going on. 

Giles: A spell? I don't think it's wise for you to be doing that alone right now. Your energy is too unfocused. 

Willow: That's not true. I said I was off. Not incompetent.

Giles: I only meant that you're grieving, and it might be best if you took a break from doing spells without supervision.

Willow: So I get punished 'cause I'm in pain.

Giles misses the main things Willow is saying here: one, she does not like to be thought of as incompetent and two, she considers taking a break from magic a punishment. Willow craves approval and is already too reliant on magic. She is also deeply insecure and seeks to use magic to fix that (”if I had any real power I could have made Oz stay with me”). Buffy starts to tell her that she doesn’t want Oz to stay because she forced him but gets distracted. We avoided an important question--does Willow have a problem with enslaving Oz?

Buffy: One more word out of you and I swear--

Spike: Swear what? You're not going to do anything to me. You don't have the stones.

Buffy: Oh, I've got the stones. I've got a whole...bunch of stones.

Spike: I get this spell reversed, they'll be finding your body for weeks.

Buffy: Make a move. Please. I'm dying for good slay.

The sexual tension is pretty blatant in this scene. They’re leaning towards each other and you half expect them to kiss. Buffy is clearly attracted to Spike but too proud and disgusted to ever do anything with him (and that’s if she ever even admitted it to herself). 

We revisit the idea that our heroes are “doomed” when it comes to love. Willow calls Xander a demon magnet and causes him to literally attract demons because of her spell. Giles becomes blind, which was interesting because he does see things but often willfully ignores them. Buffy and Spike think they’re in love and getting married. 

Buffy: My wedding! I'm getting married! Can you believe it?

Riley: I don't think "no" is a strong enough word.

Possibly my favorite scene was when Riley runs into Buffy and believes she’s getting married. I laugh every time. She manages to save face when the spell is over by claiming she was teasing him over his panic when he saw her looking at wedding dresses. 

Xander: Something about Willow and her grief-y poor-me mood swings. So, so tired of it.

Anya: You mean I don't have to be nice to her anymore?

Buffy: We're all tired of it, but what's it have to do with what's going on?

I saw a post mentioning it’s pretty obvious Anya is autistic, which was like--lightbulb! I find her character annoying at times but one thing I identify with is her being a bit stumped by certain emotions and social appropriateness. Anyway, one big neon warning sign the Scoobies miss is Willow being offered vengeance demon status. Heartbreak is one thing, but being recognized as a possible force for never-ending vengeance is a whole other level that clearly points to some deeper issues. It doesn’t surprise me that Anya doesn’t think much of it; she probably thinks her similar capabilities are a normal way to feel. But the hatred and drive for that kind of thing isn’t something every human is capable of. After all, Cordelia was not given the offer after the Wishverse. But Willow turns down the offer and bakes everyone cookies and all is forgiven.

Other Best Quotes:

Buffy: Honey, we have to talk about invitations. Do you want to be "William the Bloody" or, like just "Spike"? 'Cause either way it's gonna look majorly weird.

Spike: Whereas the name "Buffy" gives it that touch of classic elegance.

Giles: Stop whatever you're doing. You smell like fruit roll-ups.

Spike: This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.

Character Notes:

Riley Finn: Buffy catches him helping hang a sign about the meeting of the UC Sunnydale Lesbian Alliance, telling us he’s a good, community-involved guy. He loves to cruise. 

Anya Jenkins: When she sees Willow is sad she says she’d burn Oz’s entrails if she still had her powers. Xander says that’s sweet. Anya is able to help when a demon attacks. She was turned 1120 years ago.

Amy Madison: Willow’s spell briefly turns her back into a human, but she’s back in rat form before anyone sees.

Buffy Summers: Buffy still doesn’t know how to drive. When under the spell she asks Giles to give her away at her wedding rather than her father and wants ‘Wind Beneath My Wings’ for the first dance.

Rupert Giles: He’s touched Buffy wants him to give her away. Despite his reluctance when Willow was in high school Giles now depends on her help when it comes to magic.

[swiftiephobe]

ah, here we are. i really enjoy revisiting posts on my blog from different times and events that hold meaning to me. this exact post comes from around this time last year. it's 10pm, i'm at home the day after i had my wisdom teeth taken out. i'm in PAIN, you guys. my jaw is swollen, i can only eat mashed potatoes and jelly (and even then, it's not fun). i had just finished watching a game of footy (normally i would have attended with my dad, but obviously i'm not really in any condition to go out). i'm physically and emotionally exhausted, and i just want to go to bed and go to sleep. but of course, as a 20 year old with a social media + phone addiction, i open instagram one more time for the night. and lo and behold, i am greeted with THIS post at the top of my feed from the one and only taylor swift:

(disclaimer: since instagram doesn't show posts in chronological order, and i was experiencing this in a state of exhaustion, i don't actually remember which of the blurry-tree-photos i saw first. i just went back and screenshotted the first one that she put up for the purposes of this post. it doesn't matter which one it really was. you get the point)

at this point, a million thoughts begin running through my head: what is this photo even of? has she been hacked (i seriously considered this possibility for a minute, it was just that weird)? what is she up to? i immediately forget about my plans to go to bed and frantically go back and forth between insta and tumblr, watching all the posts that make up the folklore album announcement come through in real time.

it's all a blur. the new album that was announced seems like my dream album from taylor. a seemingly more stripped back, less commercial affair? after her past three albums being unabashed pop blockbusters? and a surprise release at that? i'm normally very restrained with my spending (sometimes to the point of regret, i still mourn the loss of that cruel summer tshirt that was part of that one black friday merch collection), but that might in my impaired state, a cardigan was impulse bought. i practically live in that cardigan now - it's genuinely one of my favourite pieces of clothing i own.

anyway, the whole thing just doesn't feel real. in fact, that night after i finally went to sleep, i woke up a fair few times, and each time i had to work very hard to stop myself from grabbing my phone (checking your phone during sleep hours is very bad for you in case you didn't know!!) to make sure i hadn't just had one very long, very elaborate fever dream.

when i got up the next morning, i confirmed that yes, it was real. folklore was real, and it was releasing that day. this is the most excited i had ever been for a taylor album release. i can just tell it's going to be a special one. i can't even choose a single track title to claim. mirrorball sounds fascinating, but so does the last great american dynasty, and cardigan, and betty, and this is me trying, and so on.

turns out, i was right not to claim any one track, because all of them are incredible. folklore is one of my all time favourite albums, i think it's pretty much as close to perfect as an album can get. the lyricism, the instrumentals, the storytelling, they all come together to create a product that is so ambitiously huge but also so effortlessly intertwined. one day i might be able to articulate all of the interconnecting themes i love in folklore, and how there isn't a single song out of place.

every time i listen to folklore, i discover something new about it. a turn of phrase that latches onto me, some a note of production that contributes a layer of richness i hadn't noticed before. despite being rooted in escapism and fiction, folklore felt like the album i needed at that exact moment in my life, when both my external world was in turmoil from a pandemic (how awfully fitting it is a year on that my city is once again in lockdown and infested with covid cases after we believed for a long time we were out of the woods), and my internal world was becoming increasingly full of self doubt that was perfectly captured in songs like this is me trying. despite picking me apart at my deepest insecurities, this album was equally a comfort to me, transporting me into a world that was at least different from my own.

in short, this album means more to me than words can say (though i mean, i did just write a fricking essay about it off the cuff, so it's not for a lack of trying). folklore, to me, represents taylor at her peak. i'm not sure if any album will match up to it for me. but then again, i'm not sure any album has to.

TAYLOR??